So . . . . this story is completely true:
Scene: Bathroom, tonight from 7-8, giving Sadie a bath.
Jason is at computer typing on homework: Klack klack klik klack klik. From the bathroom he hears a loud banging sound. Jumps up and walks 10 feet to the bathroom where we see Sadie in a tub of water filled with bubbles and several floating toys.
Jason: Sadie, are you ok?
Sadie (who is two): Yeah. . . .
Jason: What was that?
Sadie: I don't know.
Jason surveys the room for obvious damage. There is none though Sadie continues to eye him suspiciously. He leaves the bathroom and returns to the computer. He and Sadie can see each other clearly through the doorway.
Jason: You having fun, Sade? She loves her baths.
Sadie: Yeah!
Five minutes pass, during which time Sadie continues to jabber in her characteristic way, until. . . .
Sadie (from off screen): Dad?
Jason (still typing): Yeah Sade?
Sadie: There's poop. This is not unusual.
Jason finishes typing a section and returns to the bathroom.
Jason: Did you poop in the tub, Sadie?
Sadie: Yeah!
Jason grabs some toilet paper, begins pushing here and there though the bubbles to fine said poop in question. It is lying on the bottom.
Sadie: That's some big poop there.
Jason: Yes it is. Hey, do you need to try and use your potty chair?
Sadie: No.
Jason (returning to his computer): Okay.
He sits down.
Sadie: Dad, there's more poop.
He stands back up . . .
Jason: Yeah, Sadie. More poop?
. . . . returns to the bathroom to find a significant . . . splatter in the water.
Sadie: Yeah . . . .
Jason: Okay, time to get out baby. We'll run you up some fresh water, ok?
Sadie: Yeah.
Jason lifts Sadie from the water, stands her up on a bath mat, pulls toys from water, puts on toilet top.
Quentin (from other room): small cry, small cry, small cry.
Jason lets all the water out of the tub, scraping when necessary and appropriate. When water is nearly all gone from the tub, he turns on the shower to properly rinse out the rest.
Sadie (from behind him off camera): Dad, there's more poop. On the floor, on the bathmat, on her hands. Conspicuously NOT on the toilet. NOT on the training seat.
Quentin (from other room): bigger cry, bigger cry, bigger cry.
Jason wipes Sadie, the floor, the baseboards and the bathmats off. He begins running more water and returns the toys to the tub as well. He places Sadie inside the tub now and goes to comfort Quentin beside the computer. Jason goes to the kitchen while the water is running to fix Quentin a bottle. Jason props blanket across Quentin's chest to help hold bottle in place so he can eat. Quentin is pleased.
Sadie (from other room): The water's all DIRTY!
Jason (sighs): Yeah?
Sadie: Yeah! There's POOP in the water!
9 comments:
Hahahahahahahahaha..... Jason, your resigned manner just SHINES through this story.
Ahhh, the joys of Fatherhood!! But, you should have long ago done what Jimmy has done...he REFUSES to change diapers anymore. I had him change a dirty one a couple months ago and he said that was his LAST. (see...you just weren't thinking clearly) I am amazed at how calm you were...my dad would have been cussing!! Poor Sadie...is she feeling okay? (and then there's poor, forgotten Quentin...left in the other room to fend for himself!!)
Quentin's a boy. He can handle himself. . . .
Are you implying that boys can take care of themselves...Exhibit A - Jimmy....Exhibit B - Nate....I think NOT.
boys have to be tough, margo. It sounds to me like Jimmy and Nate can handle themselves. They may lack finesse in doing so, but they sound self-sufficient.
What is your definition of "self sufficient"? Because they can't clean up after themselves...or make plans, arrange schedules to make day-to-day things work, they can't do anythign but sit and watch tv...play video games...and pass ball. Don't ask them to do anythign to help out...hell Nate can't even hang his towel up after a shower - OR get a clean one when he goes to use it, just reaches for the closest one. (insert EWWWW here) They not only lack finesse, but the motivation to do anythign for themselves...it's just exhausting!!
All right then, let me revise. A REAL man can take care of himself . . . . This may become a separate post of its own shortly.
I'm not sure who to feel the most sorry for---Sadie, Quentin, or you. Mom
maybe you should change sade's diet. seems like an awful lot of poop for a 2 year old.
-not josh thompson
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